Years ago I had a child with ADHD. This presented me with a challenge and motivated me to set up an association to help other children with this disorder.
Through the association’s work we realised that if greater care was taken right at the beginning of life it was possible to prevent ADHD. That is why I decided to set up the eCare Acompaña Foundation.
The Foundation aims to explain how right from early pregnancy our emotions are transmitted to the baby. The Foundation helps future mothers by empowering them to feel able to create an emotional connection that benefits the baby whilst still in the womb.
When a person has experienced trauma or has simply been subject to constant, recurrent suffering, as is the case with many children with ADHD who feel great frustration and a lack of understanding from other children, it is important to talk about the term “resilience”. According to the renowned French neuropsychologist Boris Cyrulnik resilience is “the quality of being able to recover successfully from trauma. To do so, the following elements need be present: security, recovery, culture and relationships”. And to this I would personally add the importance of welcoming and acceptance.
Boris Cyrulnik states that “the baby’s brain is very easy to hurt but also very easy to repair”. This is why I want to convey hope to mothers, because it is never too late to prevent and start taking care of your child’s development.
My aim is to help women during motherhood by emphasising the importance of bonding. According to some studies, many mothers struggle to find that connection with their child. In fact historians have taught us that maternal love is not an instinct but rather something you have inside you that you may need to work on if it is to flourish. This work can be more difficult and tiring if your child has ADHD and sometimes results in the need to rely on other people for childcare (grandparents, babysitters, teachers…).
Prevention means preventing illnesses linked to the baby’s mental development through systematic fostering of a state of equilibrium in the baby that lasts throughout childhood and into adulthood. To this end, it is crucial to set limits.
“A baby develops senses during pregnancy. The unborn child is sensitive to, connected to and learns from their mother” (Boris Cyrulnik).
Encouraging optimal development during pregnancy can prevent future behavioural problems arising from difficulty in bonding. In other words, a child who has had an early emotional deficiency is likely to have more difficulties in developing empathy in the future.
Often when we suffer we are so immersed in our own pain that we find it difficult to show affection. Suffering, to a greater or lesser extent, is inevitable and affects us all, but it can also help us to find ourselves and embark upon a different way of living. The arrival of a child can be a good time to try to start a new journey of advancement to happiness.
When you finally accept your child’s difficulties and your attitude changes from one of tension to one of understanding, your child will feel more accepted and relaxed and you will be able to start along a path of more affection and less rejection.
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